Everyone Likes a Bit of ASS
by arineat
Summary: A series of drabbles written for the LJ Albus Severus/Scorpius Last Drabble Writer Standing competition. I came in 3rd by default. Had to drop out in week 9 due to lack of internet. In anycase, enjoy!
1. Week 1

**A/N:** The following is a series of Drabbles written for round 2 of the Albus Severus/Scorpius Last Drabble Writer Standing Competition on LJ. Each week we were given a genre, a word and a word count limit to meet. I ended up having to withdraw from the competition after week 8 because I moved and had no internet, thus I couldn't get my drabble in. T_T But I really enjoyed writing them. I hope you enjoy reading them.

**Genre/Cliche**: wizarding traditions

**Word Prompt**: capa

**Word count**: up to 300

**Title**: Dressed to Impress

**Summary**: Albus dresses to impress.

**Warnings**: None.

~ oOo ~

"You have _got _to be kidding me."

"Now, Albus, if you want to ask for my hand in marriage, this is the only way to do it. It's Wizarding Tradition."

"Why is it I've never heard of this tradition?"

"Just trust me, love. I'm a Malfoy. I'm an expert when it comes to these things."

Albus looked down at the ridiculous outfit Scorpius had shoved him into; a frilly shirt overlaid with a sparkly vest, ridiculously tight trousers, sparkly shoes with baubles at the toes and a flowing red capa draped over one arm. The entire ensemble was topped off with an enormous, feather-laden hat that kept falling over Albus' eyes anytime he moved his head. Grumbling audibly, Albus looked back up at Scorpius with a glower.

"You're sure?"

Scorpius nodded imperiously.

With a defeated sigh, Albus nodded and growled softly as the hat slipped over his eyes at the movement. Taking a deep breath, he shoved it up once more and gestured to his boyfriend.

"All right. Lead the way, then."

~o~

"Very well, Potter, you have my permission to marry my son if you'll answer me just one question."

Albus' bright smile turned into a frown of confusion.

"What the bloody hell are you wearing?"

"Scorpius said...I...tradition?" Albus spluttered, turning to his boyfriend for a bit of help only to find Scorpius grinning wickedly and looking sheepishly guilty at the same time.

"It was the only way I would ever get to see you in those breeches," Scorpius said with a gallant shrug.

"When I get out of this ridiculous costume, I'm going to murder you," Albus promised once he'd found his voice again.

"When _I _get you out of that costume, you'll be far too busy for murder."


	2. Week 2

**Cliche/Genre:** crack

**Prompt:** Uniform

**Word Count**: up to 300

**Title**: Under the Uniform

**Summary**: Guard duty gets interesting.

**Warnings**: Graphic descriptions of fellatio. Also, general embarrassment.

~ oOo ~

Albus sighed and shifted. Ministerial Guards were forbidden to talk, slouch, or even move beyond breathing and blinking. It was hardly what he'd imagined when he'd signed up to be an Auror.

The air rippled and a blond head appeared. Albus kept his reaction to a slight widening of his eyes; he wondered what his boyfriend was doing beneath his father's old invisibility cloak. Scorpius winked and disappeared. The hem of Al's voluminous uniform lifted and settled. His heart rate sped and he barely suppressed a squeak as Scorpius unzipped his trousers and freed his cock. Albus let out a whisper-soft moan as his length was engulfed in the wet heat of Scorpius' mouth. He shifted as Scorpius moved up and down his cock, tongue working with skilled practice.

The double doors opened and Al's father emerged.

"Albus," Harry said, "I just ran into Auror Wilson."

Albus bit back a groan; both at the cleverness of Scorpius' tongue and the lecture he knew was coming. One of Scorpius' hands fondled Al's sac while his cock slid even deeper into his mouth.

"I know Wilson is abrupt, but he is still your superior. You have to treat him with respect."

Albus' hands trembled. His nails dug into his palms in an effort to keep himself from coming.

"I know you're still upset about Guard duty, but try to let it go, okay?"

A slicked finger slowly pressed inside and Albus was lost. His eyes closed, a whimper rising in his throat as he came hard down Scorpius' throat.

"Albus, are you all right?"

Albus forced his eyes open and blinked, unable to speak even if it had been permitted.

Harry studied him and nodded. "If you're sure. Just think about what I said, yeah?"


	3. Week 3

**Cliche/Genre:** Misdirection

**Word Prompt:** Sodden

**Word Count:** 2 drabbles (each from a different perspective); 400 words total

**Title:** The Great Biscut Heist

**Summary:** Albus and Scorpius go on a dangerous mission.

**Warnings**: None

~ oOo~

**Part I**

"Alright, so here's the plan; I'll distract him while you get the loot. Got it?"

Albus nodded firmly, mischief glinting in his eyes. He loved it when Scorpius and he went on dangerous missions. What was more dangerous to an eleven (almost-twelve) year-old and his best friend than sneaking into the kitchen and stealing biscuits from the tin right under your father's nose?

With one last wicked smirk, Scorpius slid under the cover of his father's stolen invisibility cloak. Arranging his face into a mask of innocence, Albus headed for the kitchen, a hidden Scorpius in tow.

His father leaned against the kitchen counter, a cup of tea in his hand and one of the coveted biscuits in the other. Without hesitation, Albus marched up to his father and calmly asked with a smile: "Daddy, What does "sodding" mean?"

Harry's initial smile of greeting disappeared and was replaced with a look of shock as he started, spilling hot tea on the front of his shirt. Albus watched him splutter for a few moments, all the while using his peripheral vision to watch as the lid of the biscuit tin lifted up and biscuits began to float into the air and out of sight.

"What?" Harry choked out once he'd finally appeared to recover from his initail surprise enough to answer. "Albus, where did you hear that word?"

"Mum. Yesterday, she said 'your clothes are completely sodding.'"

"Oh..._oh,_ no, she meant 'sodden' as in "wet". That's all." Harry replied, looking hugely relieved.

"Oh," Albus replied, watching from the corner of his eye as the lid to the cookie jar came precariously close to hitting the side. Harry frowned and shifted as if to look.

"Well, what _does_ sodding mean? I hear James say it sometimes," he asked guilessly, swiftly diverting Harry's attention back to him while a few more biscuits disappeared and the lid of the tin floated back into place.

Moments later, Albus felt a tug on his arm and smiled triumphantly.

"You know what, Dad, don't worry about it. I'm sure I'll figure it out sometime," he said easily, letting his spluttering father off the hook. Albus sent one last smile over his shoulder before ambling casually out of the kitchen and back to his room where Scorpius and he celebrated by consuming the spoils of their victory.

**Part II**

Harry breathed a gusty sigh of relief as he watched his youngest son turn and leave the room. He felt quite lucky in having dodged_that_ particuar bullet. Taking a bracing sip of his tea, he turned to the biscuit tin to snag himself a much needed treat only to find said tin empty.

Confusion filled him as he stood blinking at the empty container for a few long moments. He was certain there'd been at _least_ a dozen biscuits in there not five minutes ago before Albus...

Relisation dawned with force and he couldn't hold back the chuckle that escaped him. Harry was certain if he headed to Albus' room right now he'd not only find the missing cookies, but a young Scorpius Malfoy as well. He was equally sure that if he checked his wardrobe, his cloak would be missing. Rather than being cross, Harry was both amused and oddly proud.

One thing was for sure. His son was a pure Slytherin.


	4. Week 4

**Genre/cliche**: Creature fic

**Prompt**: Paradipsia

**Word count**: up to 300

**Title**: Inheritance

**Summary**: Scorpius lets Albus in on a family secret.

**Warnings**: Light innuendo

~ oOo ~

Inheritance

"Godric, Scorpius, slow down!" Albus insisted as his boyfriend downed yet another Butterbeer.

"What?"

"That is your sixth bloody pint, how are you not sick from it? It's like you're suffering from paradipsia or something. What are you, some sort of magical creature that feeds off of Butterbeer?"

Albus' brows rose as Scorpius choked at the words 'magical creature'.

"You all right?"

"Yeah," Scorpius rasped. "Listen, I need to talk to you about something. It's actually why I brought you here. I just hope you'll still want me after you hear what I have to say."

"What is it?" Albus asked hesitantly.

"I'm not a pureblood."

"Is that all? Thank Merlin, you had me worried."

"No. That's not all."

Scorpius looked down at his hands, his brows creased with worry. Albus'd never seen him look so uncertain before. It made him want to wrap Scorpius in the safety of his arms and never let go.

"Hey," Albus murmured, resting a hand on Scorpius' forearm, "it's all right. You can tell me anything."

"I'm...not completely human. I'm part Veela." Scorpius said it as though it was something shameful. "I didn't mean to keep it from you, but I didn't want to freak you out. I'll understand if you want to leave..."

Albus cut him off with a kiss.

"I love you, Scorpius Malfoy. Whether you're part Veela or part Blast-Ended Skrewt, that will never change. Understand?"

Scorpius stared at Albus, seemingly unable to believe that he was still there. He smiled.

"Yes. I understand completely."

"Good." Albus sent Scorpius an amused smirk. "Actually, I'm not surprised. Though, I wouldn't have guessed you're part Veela."

"Really? Why not?"

"Because you, love, are hung like a Centaur."


	5. Week 5

**Genre/Cliché:** revelations from the past

**Word:** descry (or any variation of)

**Word Count:** up to 300

**Title**: Like Father, Like Son

**Summary**: Scorpius finds out he is more like his father than he'd ever imagined.

**Warnings**: None.

~ oOo ~

Scorpius cursed as the bottom of the box he carried gave out, sending books scattering along the floor of his new library. His and Albus' new library, he amended with a smile.

Scorpius bent to gather the fallen books. He froze as he spied an unfamiliar journal lying open in the haphazard pile. Reaching out, he lifted the book and skimmed a page filled with a familiar elegant scrawl. His father's personal diary. It must have been packed by mistake when Scorpius had cleared his books from the Manor library.

As he made to close the book, a single word caught his gaze: ___Harry_. Scorpius' brow furrowed and, against his better judgement, he let the journal fall open once more.

___I miss him. It is ridiculous. We knew the end would come. We both have expectations and duties we cannot disregard. Still, I remember that final night we shared and the way Harry came apart in my arms. That look of naked want, tainted with sadness. I daresay I even descried love in his eyes. Eyes that haunt me to this day. What I wouldn't give to have him in my arms once more. But these musings are pointless. He has his life and I have mine. There is no going back._

So that was why his father had looked at him wistfully when he'd told him he wasn't going to fulfil his duty as his heir; that he was going to follow his heart and spend his life with Albus Potter. That was why his father hadn't fought like Scorpius had expected. Draco Malfoy had lost his Potter and apparently he didn't have the heart to deny his son his.

Scorpius reverently closed the journal and rose, an old saying echoing in his mind. ___Like father, like son__._


	6. Week 6

**Genre/Cliché**: Birthday fic

**Word Prompt**: feather

**Word Count**: 200 exactly

**Title**: Birthday Wish

**Summary**: Scorpius makes a birthday wish.

**Warnings**: None.

~ oOo ~

Scorpius Malfoy was a quiet boy.

Painfully shy, he spent most of his time in the library at Malfoy Manor with his nose in a book, soft grey eyes darting behind wire-framed glasses as he eagerly devoured the knowledge on offer.

Scorpius loved his books and the solace they offered him, but he was lonely. His mother had left before he had learned to walk and his father worked constantly. Scorpius knew his father did his best to be there for him, but even so, he longed for someone to talk to.

On his sixth birthday, when he blew out the candles of his cake, he wished with all his heart for a friend to spend it with.

After he'd opened his gifts, Scorpius hurried from the manor to the large garden, past the white-feathered peacocks to the fountain to wait for his wish to come true.

Hours later, he still sat there, his heart heavy and his eyes filling with tears. Just as he made to stand, he heard a rustling noise behind him. Scorpius turned to find a boy with wide emerald eyes and a friendly smile staring back at him.

"Hi, my name's Albus Potter, what's yours?"


	7. Week 61

**A/N: **This was an alternate drabble I wrote for week six using the same criteria. In the end, I went with "Birthday Wish" because it was more focused on Albus and Scorpius.

**Genre/Cliché:** Birthday fic

**Word Prompt:** feather

**Word Count**: 200 exactly

**Title**: Happy Birthday Harry

**Summary**: After making a shocking discovery (Last week's "Like Father, Like Son") Scorpius and Albus give Harry a birthday gift he never expected.

**Warnings**: none

~ oOo ~

"It's the latest Quick Quotes Quill. The feather acts as a recording device in case you run out of parchment," Albus explained enthusiastically.

"I love it, thank you Al. You too, Scorpius," Harry added quickly, remembering at the last minute to include Albus' boyfriend.

"You're welcome, Harry. But we've still one present left to give you," Scorpius replied with a small smile.

"Oh?" Harry looked around the pile of opened gifts and torn paper. "There doesn't seem to be any more packages.

Scorpius smiled.

"I'm afraid it wouldn't fit into a box," he said, nodding his head toward the open doorway of the sitting room. The room fell silent.

Harry turned and stared, his expression changing from curiosity to shock before settling on confusion.

"Draco?"

Draco Malfoy swept into the sitting room as though he owned it, a look of determination on his face. Before anyone could say a word, he cupped Harry's face and kissed him senseless.

Scorpius smiled and slipped his hand into Albus, giving it a squeeze.

When he finally pulled back, Harry was flushed, his eyes shuttered and a smile was forming on his face.

"Happy birthday, Harry."


	8. Week 7

**Genre/Cliche:** Dark!fic

**Prompt:** goad

**Word Count:** up to 300

**Title**: Nightmare

**Summary**: It's Scorpius' worst nightmare.

**Warnings**: Character death...sort of

~ oOo ~

A gasp of awe rose from the stands as Albus pulled yet another death-defying stunt, turning to shoot Scorpius a cheeky grin, goading him as he pulled out of the dive. Scorpius' eyes narrowed to show his displeasure and then widened as he caught sight of a Bludger whizzing toward Albus' head. He tried to shout a warning, but his voice was suddenly gone. All he could do was watch as the ball slammed into Albus' temple with an earsplitting _crack _that echoed throughout the entire stadium.

Blood flew from Albus' head as he plummeted toward the pitch, dozens of feet below. Scorpius found his voice in time to scream as he fumbled for his wand, desperate to slow Albus' fall. In his haste, he dropped the slim piece of wood.

"No!" he cried as it fell over the railing, shouting at the people around him who stood and simply watched. "Help him! For Merlin's sake, why don't you save him?"

He turned just in time to watch the man he loved slam into the ground with a sickening _thud_.

"_Albus_!"

Before he even had a chance to process it, Scorpius was kneeling beside Albus' crumpled, bloody form.

"Albus," Scorpius called, repeating the name louder and louder as he tried to wake him. "Please, Albus."

Gathering Albus' limp body in his arms, Scorpius clutched him tightly to his chest and let out a broken sob.

"Scorpius."

Albus' voice cut through the unbearable despair that threatened to suffocate him and his arms tightened around Scorpius shoulders as he was gently shaken. Scorpius blinked his eyes open, surprise overtaking him as he stared at Albus through the dim light of their bedroom.

"Albus...you were dead..."

"Shhh" Albus soothed him with a kiss. "It was just a dream, love."

A/N: You can probably tell that dark!fic really ISN'T my forte...


	9. Week 8

**Cliche/Genre**: Teenage Rebellion

**Prompt**: Megrim

**Word count**: up to 300

**Title**: By the way...

**Summary**: Albus drops a bomb...or two.

**Warnings**: none

~ oOo ~

"I quit the Quidditch team."

The room fell silent – a truly marvellous feat when it was filled with three generations of Weasleys - and all eyes turned to look at Albus. He straightened in his seat, his face full of defiance as the room exploded into a cacophony of sound.

"You quit the team?"

"Are you insane? You're the best seeker Slytherin's seen in _years_!"

"Why?"

"Because I felt like it." In truth it had been something of a megrim. Yet another person had compared him to his father. 'That manoeuvre was almost as good as Harry Potter when he was flying for Gryffindor'. That had been the last straw.

The questions kept coming and in another surge of defiance, Albus began to speak.

"Oh, and I'm fucking Scorpius."

His Uncle Ron, who'd been in the middle of standing, fell over with a loud _thud_.

"Now? You're telling them _now_?" Scorpius asked incredulously. Albus turned to face him, an odd little smile on his face.

"They're already worked up. In fact... Mum, that vase Dad bought on your honeymoon, I broke it when I was six and blamed it on Lily."

"Oi! I was grounded for a week for that!"

"James, remember when you tried to kiss Dawn Nott and she hexed your lips off? Yeah, I lied about her fancying you."

Albus stood, pulling Scorpius up with him as James lunged across the table, shouting.

"And, Dad, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be an Auror."

With that, he pulled Scorpius up the stairs to his room, locked the door and cast a Silencing Spell to block the sound of James trying to break in.

"Well that was fun," Scorpius drawled. "How will we ever top it next year?"

"We could always tell them I got you pregnant."

A/N: And, sadly, this is where it ends. There were two more weeks, but, unfortunately, I was completely cut off from the internet due to moving and missed the deadline. T_T This was my favourite drabble by far. Is it wrong that I still giggle every time I read it? :3


End file.
